(look at the stars) [14 Jun 2004|06:14pm] Wow. alot has happened in the past few days. me n keva r like nothing ne more, and i cant deal with it i need her shes my everything. there is just something holding me back. and i havent figured out what it is yet. School sucked as usual Finals all day 2morrow agian Last day of school! [ thank fucking god ] Im very empty now and i dont know how to fill this void inside myslf. I hurt and feel so bad with out her. And im sorry that i hurt her its somthing i think and have to live with everyday. i feel as if nothing good is ever gonna happen to me. everything i get or do I always fuck it up. i cant this feeling like this ne more and i dont know what im gonna do or move on. or just maybe i wont. Keva i do love you im not gonna pretend i dont ne more i cant hold it in. <3<3<3 im done with being FaKe

(look at the stars) [12 Jun 2004|12:02pm] HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(look at the stars) [08 Jun 2004|11:26pm] Wow.. im not feeling myslf lately but i guess thats normal now. I have a million feelings and events goin through my head and heart and i rly dont know what to do. Im pretty heavily getting into weed and shrooms. my drug rehiblitation girl said if i have just 1 more postive pee test its Rehab for me. i love keva and adam...but i dunno im afriad im gonna hurt her or even him but she is the main focus rite now. i just wanna take things slow and let are love progress. <3 chelsea lynn W.e. my real last name is! im sick of lies and fucking bull shit Drama

(look at the stars) [08 Jun 2004|11:20pm] gfdjgfdjghjgjgdjgfdgfdjgfdjgfd this is keva, i love you. end of fucking story.

(look at the stars) [04 Jun 2004|04:39pm] As i sit here and think about how much she cares about me and how much i care about her...im begining to think i shouldnt care what they are saying,or what they'll do. All that matters now is that its me n her and that we are happy together. When im with her i feel happy, not depressed, pretty, loved, cared for. I can actually feel when shes around, i can breath when she's around, and things are clear to me when shes around. Thats how i know shes the 1 for me. and i dont wanna let this chance slip away form us, i wanna hold and have it forever. <3<3<3 i love you.

(look at the stars) [04 Jun 2004|04:34pm] this is keva. i just wanted to say.. The first time I caught a glimpse of you Then my thoughts were only of you <3 <3 <3 and... eveRy tear thaT ruNs down my face every `;` smiLe * that passes my lips every [. thought .] that gOes througH my mind ** its all [_centered_] on this [( feeling i have for you.. )] cheesy, i know. but it's only the truth!

(look at the stars) Im no1 with out you! [25 May 2004|07:58pm] Keva i love you so much you dont even understand. theres no way in gods name will i ever forgive myslf if you do anything. You are the only person that knows me, and u are pretty much the only person i would give my life for beside my mom or britt or siblings. But yea you dont understand how upset i am rite now. i just want you to know if you do go through with this , i prolly wont be to far behind you. Listen i just want you to be happ and not have to feel any pain. ily so so much it hurts me. <3 chelsea lynn

(look at the stars) Everything...well almost [22 May 2004|12:46pm] The Basics Name?: Chelsea Lynn Sex?: f Birthday?: 12/20/89 Location?: new york. Height?: 5'3 Weight?: 125 Hair Color?: blonde Eye Color?: green/blue Social Life Who is your best friend(s)?: Keva,Sierra,Britt,Shanny,idk. Would you rather be alone, hangout with one other person, or in a group?: Group of my best friends What would you consider a typical Friday nite?: Get fucked up, stay with someone-most likely How often do you go out on the weekend? during the week?: 1-2 Would you rather spend the day with your family or friends?: friends. Love Life Are you single?: uh huh If so, do u have a crush?: yes What is his/her name?: - If not, what is his/her name?: secrect How long have you two been together?: . This or That Night or Day?: night Cat or Dog?: dog Ugly and Sweet or Hott and Mean?: Hott and sweet. Hot or Cold?: Hot Tall or Short?: tall Prep of Punk?: Both Winter or Summer?: Winter McDonalds or Burgerking?: Mcdonalds Hard or Soft?: hard Yes or No?: depends Do you drink?: yes Have you ever gotten drunk?: yes! Do you smoke?: yes.. Have you ever gotten high?: yes.. Are you prude?: i dont know.lol Are you a virgin?: no Are you smart?: intelligent yes, smart. no. Are you ugly?: i rly wouldnt know Are you pretty?: idk Are you trustworthy?: yes Random How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?: i dont even know.. How many pairs of shoes do you have that actually fit?: like 15 What size bra do you wear?: 36 c Have you ever colored your hair?: yes What pieces of jewlery do you wear everyday?: belly ring, and earrings Do you have a cell phone?: yes Name three things you "can't live without": My friends, & mom, thats all i need Who do you talk to the most on aim? phone?: 1)Keva 2)whoeva. What color(s) is your room?: tan Do you have a computer in your room?: nope What time do you usually go to bed? wake up?: like 12, like 6:30. What's your favorite clothes store?: AE & Zoomies Do you wear makeup?: yes. Do you paint your nails?: sometimes What size shoe are you?: 6

(look at the stars) [21 May 2004|12:10pm] this is keva on your name. i love you so much. i need you to breathe. i wake up for you.

(look at the stars) ily [17 May 2004|12:37am] I love you keva Mood: Confused Music:Everytime, Britney Spears

(look at the stars) Weekend action news..lol [17 May 2004|12:12am] Well lets jus say this weekend was crazy, werid and fun all in one. Friday me n keva were supposed to go to Shannys but we didnt we ended up getting fucked up! Then jaymz called us and we told him to go to kevas and we would chill. Jaymz and Corey were fucked up too when they got there cuz they were at sherman's house partyin before they came. Well we drank more and shit at kevas and acted crazy for awhile. We would pass out off and on but it was awsome. Keva passed out around 3:30 am. and jaymz, corey and i went outside and chilled. It was a beautiful night. We prolly sat out there for like 2 hrs. finally like around 5 we went home. I slept along time the next day..lol. Very bad hangover let me tell you. That day i jus hung around the house talked to keva on the comp i dont think we hung out i cant remember so i dunno. That night i went to adam's to have dinner and to chill with the family. Dinner was good and brett and colby were there wid us. It was so funny at dinner cuz colby and brett had jus gotten back from caitlins and they were stoned off their asses! At dinner they hardly talked or look at anyone it was really funny. But yea i think im in love wid adam but i dunno. i mean the reason i think i rly like him so much is because he likes me for me and not all the other shit about me. And i havent respected that as much as i should have. Well anyway bout the rest of that night at adams. Brett,adam,colby, and me chilled then shermie took me home at like 10:30. I talked to the rents and kids then passed out i was so tired. Then this mornin i didnt wake up till 12. I jus chilled the whole day pretty much. Today i felt very werid and differnt. i was so so tired and jus didnt care about ne thing. around like 3 or 4 i think i wen to kevas and Will answered the door and hes like what are you doing im like nothing. I walked in the house and i was like where is keva? hes like i dunno so i went upstairs and asked Cindy. Shes like ohh Keva and jasmine are gone im like ahh yea. Then she responded and was like i remember they went to the mall..lol. i sat in her room with her for like half and hr and watch tv and relaxed with her. I went down stairs smoked a cigg then Keva was home! I looked out the window and what did i see Adam dropping her off. Rite then i knew he had been with Genna. It pissed me off so bad! Fist thing i asked keva when she walked in the door was " was adam and genna together?" she was like yea theyre gonna go out im like WTF?!?! i was so mad and angrey at one time i couldnt even talk And i rly didnt know what to say as a response. She goes yea they were holding hands n shit. My heart dropped im like ahh omg i dont need this. Well i went home ate dinner wid the family. Then you know ran rite back over to kevas got on the computer and yelled at adam and genna. It was point less tho it didnt solve anything rly. Adam dosent understand why im mad about him talking and hanging with her it jus makes me so jealous! AND im usuallt never ever jealous but for this 1 time i actually am and i hate it i rly rly HATE this feeling! Well i went home for awhile then went back to kevas Will was still their keva was eating Taco Bell and me n Will sat ans watched. We talked bout black ppl n shit. haha good time that was, Then Me n Keva (( We were cops and Will was that nigger that could lets she 1) run 2) jump )) LMA0 haha. it was crazy and fun! Well im out gotta go to fuckin blow me ass school in the morning! Keva and Will are comming over and riding with me..hehe. <3 I love Keva So much <3 Night~ Chelsea lynn-whatever my real last name is

(look at the stars) Its fuckin Hott [14 May 2004|04:07pm] I didnt go to practice cuz im a lazy ass and dont feel like being around a bunch of cold hearted bitchs..lol. School was gay as usual and rite now im jus in a rly pissy mood for some reason, prolly cuz im gonna be PMSin pretty soon. Tonight me n keva are goin to shannys so if i dont write again you know where i am. Ahh my life sux! Im goin back into those moods when im always bitchy and depressed. Keva looked very pretty today, i love that girl so much more than she even realizes. Well im out for now, prolly gonna run down to keva's(( <3 ))

(look at the stars) mornin [14 May 2004|08:10am] Im not wanting to go to school, but hey im late so who cares. <3 love i'll write when i get home

(look at the stars) Blahhh [13 May 2004|11:44pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | 3 Doors Down: Changes ] Today was alrite. Not one of my best days but yea, let me just say i am rly starting to hate GB! Everyone is so fake and if u are urslef its just ahh i dunno. The main reason i was pissed today is because my so-cal who i thought was one of my best friends a few weeks ago is being a bitch and turning all mine and britt's friends against us. The thing im rly hurt about is that Jaymz ( 1 of the ppl i actually put my trust into @ that school )  goes and tells sierra that i called her a  slut! Which i didnt even do, i called her a Whore, But! rite after i said that i go what am i saying shes never even rly kissed a guy i am just angrey and saying shit. but yea he rly rly hurt me and acts like nothing happened. The thing that gets me the most is that he hates Sierra and has always talked mad shit about her. On to the good part of my day...I hung out with beautiful Keva, then she had to go wid her caseworker so i went to watertown wid my mom and the other losers. When we got back keva called and i went to her house.. I cut her hair..lol it looks good thought :-) I love her so much, shes rly the only person who actually knows me for me and not the fake person i am @ school. but im getting better i think at showing ppl who i rly am After Keva left i went for a walk with my mom , anut shelly, and johnathan.

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